Be Careful What You Wish For
by Draco the Lizard
Summary: The Doctor decides to dye his hair ginger, simply because he can. Rose has her doubts, but he doesn't listen to her objections because they're busy running away from a Romanian mob. [Oneshot, expect no sequel]


Disclaimer: Doctor Who etc doesn't belong to me, but probably to the BBC, and I don't want to piss off the BBC, as they are still supposed to release a lovely Red Dwarf DVD.  
Setting: Right after The Christmas Invasion

"Are you sure about this, Doctor?"

"Of course I'm sure. So, what do you think, radiant ruby or spicy ginger?" He held up the two packages.

"Erm… well, it's your hair," Rose said. She still didn't think it was that great an idea. He had alien hair and this hair dye was meant for humans. What if something went wrong?

"I'm not the one who has to look at it the whole time, I'm just being considerate," He replied, and started reading the back of the boxes again. "You're the one who has to look at my 'vibrant, fearless' colour." He frowned at that. "Do I even want to know what hair full of fear looks like?"

"Look, why don't you try some temporary hair dye first? What if you don't like it? Or if there's some weird reaction with your hair? I mean, you're not exactly human, are you?" She whispered.

"That'll be fine. My hair's dead, your hair's dead, I can't see what could possibly go wrong. And besides, what if I do like my hair ginger? I don't want to have to buy hair dye every couple of weeks. Might as well do it properly now that we're here." He looked at her intently. "So, Rose, which one do you think I should get?"

She didn't want him to blame her for the colour fiasco, and she didn't quite know him well enough. He might just be the type to blame it on her if he didn't like his colour, so she went for the safest option. "Just get them both. If you don't like one, you could try dyeing it again with the other."

He smiled. "Good idea!"

They went to pay for the two boxes of hair dye, and Rose suddenly remembered how he hadn't had any money before. "Just so you know, I'm flat broke."

"Oh, don't worry, bound to have some money in here somewhere. Here, hold this." He dumped the hair dye in her hands, and rummaged through the many pockets of his coat. "Ah, knew it was in here somewhere!" He triumphiantly waved a twenty pound note in her face.

"So how come I had to buy the chips then?" She gave him the hair dye back.

"I left my wallet in my other coat." He grinned. "Happens all the time, you've seen my wardrobe."

She didn't even want to know what could turn up in the pockets of unused Time Lord clothes. Maybe a previous incarnation had a fondness for chewing gum, and there was still a dried up wad in some pocket. She really should check if there was a laundromat in the TARDIS. Getting fresh clothes was easy, but leaving the dirty ones around couldn't be sanitary.

As Rose wondered about the state of the Doctor's wardrobe, he had paid for his hair dye and even gotten some free coloured contact lenses. They came for free with two boxes of hair dye for some reason. Perhaps the company had figured that people who bought that much hair dye in one go were in such need of a total make-over that they might as well throw in some contact lenses.

"Why'd you get the blue ones?" Rose asked, as they walked back to the TARDIS. He hadn't needed her help deciding on that?

"Figured I'd pick the same colour I had last time. I kind of liked the blue."

The Doctor had been in the bathroom for at least an hour now, and Rose was getting slightly worried. He had refused to come out with the dye in his hair, saying he only wanted her to see the final result. Rose thought this new incarnation was simply too vain to let her see his hair all slimy and gunky. Still, an hour was a bit on the long side. "Doctor, you should've washed out the dye by now!" She warned him through the door.

"I know! I've read the instructions in all languages!" He shouted back. "Don't worry, I'm just putting in the lenses. It's more difficult than you'd think."

Rose figured that must mean that the dyeing had gone well. Otherwise he wouldn't bother with the lenses. "Just make sure you wash your hands! Don't want any of that hair dye stuff from your hands into your eyes! It's quite aggressive." She didn't hear a reply from him, which could be a good or a bad thing.

When the dor opened, she took a few steps back. "And? What do you think?" He asked, grinning.

"It's… different," Rose said.

"So you keep saying. But seriously, what do you think? Is ginger my colour?"

"It doesn't look that bad. Think I'll have to get used to it though. And I hadn't even gotten used to your real hair and eye colour! And here you are changing it already." She grinned.

"I just wanted to try something new," The Doctor said, and walked back into the bathroom to check his face again. "And I really never have been ginger. It's not bad a look for me, and the blue eyes seem to match quite well too."

"So… now that you're done with your make-over, can we go somewhere that isn't Earth now?" Rose asked. "That's what I'm here for."

"Right! Of course," The Doctor hurried out, rushing to the control room. When Rose caught up with him, he pressed a button with a flourish. "There. Next destination, here we come!"

"So where are we going then?"

"I figured we'd let the TARDIS decide for herself for this once. She always has to go where I tell her to go," He said, patting the walls fondly. "Even if she doesn't do that most of the time. Besides, it'll be a complete surprise to see where we land. It'll be fun."

Fun. Right. "The TARDIS won't land us somewhere dangerous, right?" She asked. She didn't want to open the doors and find herself in the middle of some war.

"No more dangerous than what we've been through so far. She knows how to find planets with an atmosphere suitable for us. Don't worry, if we don't like it, we can leave right away," He told her.

Rose wished she could share his positive outlook.

Wherever and whenever they were, it was starting to get dark and Rose didn't like that one bit.

"Just look where she put us! Very thoughtful of her, to land next to a path at the edge of a forest," The Doctor said, walking happily.

"But Doctor, it's getting dark. We have no idea where we are, wouldn't it be safer to spend the night in the TARDIS and explore in the morning?" Rose asked.

"Don't worry. A forest is a useful natural resource. There's probably some settlement nearby. And it's not like you're alone." He grinned at her, and she smiled back, a bit less worried.

True to his word, after a fifteen minute walk they did find a small village consisting mostly of small houses made of wood. Some of the bigger buildings were made of stone, probably because they were considered to be more important. "That's a church!" Rose exclaimed when she saw the biggest stone building.

"Nonsense. It's probably just this planet's equivalent of a church, but it's not technically a church. I doubt they're Christians," The Doctor said, eyeing the building. "Unless those missionaries went further than most people know. Wouldn't be surprised if they had, some of those guys were very keen on spreading the word."

"Maybe we're still on Earth," Rose suggested. It looked very much like Earth. Blue sky, only one sun and the trees had looked quite normal as well.

"Could be, could be. I don't know why though, the TARDIS could've gone anywhere she liked," The Doctor replied, looking through the windows of some of the houses, trying to figure when and where they were.

"Maybe she likes Earth too," Rose said. "But what's the plan? What do we do?"

"We go this planet's equivalent of a pub," He said gleefully. "Small communities tend to gather there for their gossip."

"And your desire to go to a pub has nothing with just wanting to have a beer, does it?" Rose snorted. Men were still men, even if they were alien.

He grinned at her. "Nothing at all. Come on, let's find their pub."

Rose wasn't exactly feeling comfortable. It felt like everybody was looking at her or the Doctor, and she felt completely out of place with her too modern clothes. The Doctor however, seemed very comfortable. He was on his third glass of whatever passed for a beer around here. He had bought her one glass, and it was still full. After one careful sip, she had decided that this, whatever it was, was not for her. He was taking it surprisingly well, but she had no idea how his body worked and how it normally reacted to alcohol. "Are you feeling alright, Doctor?"

"I'm fine!" He assured her. "Have you tried this though? It's lovely. Trust me."

"Yes, I have, and have you figured out where we are yet?" Rose asked.

"Barman says it's Romania. Guess we'd better watch out for vampires then!"He grinned.

"So we are on Earth then?" Rose asked, just to be sure. "This is Romania on Earth?"

"Well, I did pay for this with Earth Romanian money, so it had better be," The Doctor told her. "I have to say, I should've let the TARDIS decide where to go a long time ago! She certainly knows how to pick a place with a good local brew." He took another big gulp and sighed happily.

Rose didn't know how he handled alcohol at all. He seemed fine, but that was his third glass in an hour. It was a bit much. "Doctor, don't you think you should slow down a bit, drinking-wise?"

"Nonsense! I can handle alcohol just fine, trust me. Alien metabolism," He said, waving his hand around vaguely. "It's great."

"But don't you think it's time we walk around the town a bit more? So far we've only spotted the church and the pub!" Rose said. "That's not exploring, that's what tourists do."

"Okay, fine, we'll explore properly then." The Doctor finished his drink in a couple of big gulps, and stood up. "Come on then."

As they made their way out, Rose again felt all eyes on her and the Doctor. It was one of the reasons why she had wanted to get out of here. The Doctor was probably used to people looking at him strangely.

"So, where do you want to go now?" The Doctor asked, hands in his pockets. It was completely dark now, the only light came from a couple of lanterns.

Rose shrugged. "I don't know, I'm new around here. Let's just walk around for a bit."

"Good plan." He nodded and set off with a brisk pace. "Let's go this way."

"But it's dark there!" Rose said. Why would he want to walk into a dark alley in a strange town?

"Nonsense, alien nightsight!" The Doctor said, and walked into a tree.

Rose sniggered, and walked over to see if he was alright. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," He muttered, and felt his face. "I've only had this face for about 24 hours and already it's bruised."

"Pretty badly too, there's some blood." Rose noticed. It looked quite serious. "Maybe we shouldfind the doctor."

"I AM the Doctor!"

"A medical doctor," Rose said, and helped him up. "Come on, you never know if there's some splinter in there, could cause an infection."

"Let's hope we're in a time where they know about tetanus shots then," The Doctor said.

They finally found the local doctor's house, who was at first unwilling to help them, but when the older man saw the Doctor's wound, he was a lot more obliging. "So you walked into a tree? Can't say say you're the first to have done that. I keep telling the landlord of the pub to cut those trees down, but he keeps saying it adds to the atmosphere."

"I am not drunk. It was merely a badly lit place, that's why I didn't see the tree," The Doctor declared. "And I am fine. I just need to wash the blood out, that'll be all."

"Well, I'm the doctor around here, and I know what's best," The older man told him. "So you just sit down and take your jacket off, I'll go and get some of my things."

The Doctor took off his jacket, but still didn't look too happy about it. "I don't like not knowing what time we're in. Some of your older Earth medicine sometimes doesn't work as advertised."

"Y'mean like leeches?" Rose asked. "It's only a head wound and it's not that serious. I doubt he'll do more than wash it and put a bandage on it."

"Let's hope so. But if he comes out with leeches, we make a run for it. I've got a first aid kit in the TARDIS."

The doctor had come back, stethoscope around his neck. "Let's do a basic check before we get to that nasty head wound, shall we?"

"I only came here because of the head wound, I'm fine," The Doctor assured him. "Really, my hearts are fine."

This seemed to surprise the doctor. "Hearts? Plural? As in, more than one?"

"Two, actually. It's quite convenient," The Doctor said.

"Are you quite sure you have two hearts?" The doctor asked, looking a bit sceptic now. "You did have a nasty blow to the head."

"Quite sure," He confirmed. "Go on, check."

The doctor did indeed check, and moved his stethoscope around on the Doctor's chest until he had located both hearts. "You have two hearts!"

"That's what I said. Now, could you please just clean my wound? My friend and I would like to see more of your nice little town. We're new around here, you see. Only got here around sunset."

"Yes, I expect you'd like to see some more," The doctor said, nodding to himself. "Just… just stay here for now, okay? I have to get some other things. I need something else than I first thought." He hurried away this time.

"That was odd," Rose remarked.

"I just proved to him I have two hearts. He's a man of science, and he probably needs a stiff drink before he's over the shock," The Doctor said. "It's a normal reaction."

"He's leaving!" Rose saw the doctor walk away through the window, he seemed to be in a hurry. "He can't just leave his patient."

"If he's leaving, so can we." The Doctor picked up his jacket. "We should've gone back to the TARDIS anyway. Come on."

They were walking back through the town at a leisurely pace, when they saw something up ahead. It seemed to be coming from the direction of the pub. "What's that?" Rose asked, trying to figure out what it was.

"Looks like a mob," The Doctor said. "You can tell because of the torches and pitchforks."

The mob, because the Doctor was right, came towards them at great speed. Rose could hear the cries of 'there they are!' and 'death to the' and then there was some word she couldn't quite make out. "I think they're after us, Doctor."

"What're you waiting for then? Let's run!" The Doctor grabbed her hand and together they ran off. "We need a good place to hide, we can't run all the way back to the TARDIS," He muttered as he was looking at the few houses at this side of the town.

"Looks like a barn there," Rose said, pointing at a large building not too far away. "We'll be able to hide -" Her sentence was cut off as the Doctor was already running towards it and dragging her with him

The Doctor and Rose hadn't hidden inside the barn like Rose had wanted, but behind it. "I don't want to be trapped in a barn made of wood and filled with hay when a bunch of people with torches think we might be inside," The Doctor explained briefly, peering around a corner at the street.

Rose could understand that. "Are they coming?" She whispered.

"Can't see them. Just some lights in the distance. They've split up," He told her. "I think they've done this sort of thing before. Formed a mob to chase away a stranger."

"You think that's why they're doing this? Simply because we're strangers?" Rose asked, incredulous. "They didn't chase us out of the pub."

"We're not normal strangers, Rose, we're strange strangers. Strangers with two hearts, amongst others. I guess that doctor of yours started it."

"Hey! It's not my fault that doctor turned out to be xenophobic. Can't we just carefully make our way back to the TARDIS? It wasn't that far away from the town." Rose couldn't wait to get away. Being chased by aliens was bad enough, but to be chased by fellow humans was even worse.

"If we're careful we might make it without being detected. But only if we're careful. So stay out of the light and follow my lead." The Doctor got up carefully and snuck away. Rose followed him, as sneaky as possible.

Rose thought they were going to make it. The forest was already in view, and she hadn't seen any torches for miles now. The Doctor still insisted on being quiet, but she had been walking normally for a while now, and no townpeople had been attracted to the extra noise. "They've all gone back to the pub now, Doctor. We're safe."

"You just jinxed us, you know that? Now someone's bound to find us as the last moment and raise the alarm." The Doctor knew all about timing and Murphy's Law. "Might as well start shouting 'Oi townspeople, here's the people you want to kill' at the top of your lungs."

"You really think they wanted to kill us?" Rose asked, a bit shocked at that.

"It was a proper mob with torches and pitchforks. They were hardly going to sit us down for a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, were they?" The Doctor replied.

They walked in silence for a while, until Rose spotted the TARDIS and said so quite loudly. Immediately there was some more shouting, but not from Rose. The townspeople had found them, and were chasing them in that way mobs do.

"What did I say about jinxing us?" The Doctor said, and ran for the TARDIS as fast as he could. Rose could fend for herself this time, he was pretty sure the mob was more interested in killing him anyway.

Rose kept up pretty well, as did the mob. "Death to the -" and there was the word Rose couldn't make out. Stree something. Streego? Maybe the Doctor knew what they were being called.

They arrived at the TARDIS, and the Doctor had some trouble opening the lock like most people have in these kind of situations. He opened it eventually, but only after some arrows had hit the TARDIS alarmingly close to their heads.

Rose slammed the doors behind her. "Let's go!"

The Doctor was already at the control panel. "Way ahead of you there," He told her, hitting the buttons and getting the TARDIS going.

"So, care to explain to me why those people were chasing us?" Rose asked, crossing her arms and trying to look stern.

"Like I said, we were strange strangers." The Doctor shrugged, like being chased by an angry mob was something that happened on a daily basis.

"They called us something. They kept shouting 'death to the streego' or something," Rose said, still looking as stern as she possibly could. "If I have to be called a streego, I'd like to know what it is."

"A streego isn't anything. Well, it's not anything on Earth, I know that. Streego, streego…" He muttered to himself, in thought. "Of course! Strigoii!"

"Okay, strigoii then. What are they? Some kind of alien race?"

"Hardly, they're a kind of vampire according to Romanian mythology. Not much is known about them, but apparently you can recognise them because they have two hearts. That's why the doctor thought I was a strigoii, and he probably assumed you were one as well. Explains the mob," The Doctor said.

There was a noise like something was trying to get their attention. Rose looked around, it was a noise she hadn't heard before.

"Oh, the TARDIS must've picked up on our conversation and found something more about strigoii," The Doctor said, looking at a screen on the control panel. "Yes, strigoii are supposed to have two hearts, and are easy to recognise because they also have blue eyes and ginger hair."

Rose had walked over and saw that the ginger hair had been bolded. "Oh. But why would the TARDIS take us here, if it knew about strigoii and your ginger hair and hearts?"

The Doctor looked rather sad. "I think that's her way of saying she doesn't like my hair."


End file.
